So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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