I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize