She is in my trunk
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
