the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Found the puke drawer
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
