I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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