Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
