i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.