I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
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I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.