Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS