What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.