oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on