38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
be right there i have to get my cape
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?