The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.