every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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