Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Your shirt... Was in my pants