I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
