it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they need to just BURY HIM!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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