Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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