She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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