If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize