In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
