I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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