someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
