do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
