What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
