I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
