We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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