nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
