We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
