Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
