So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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