addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
