i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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