I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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