yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
