Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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