my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
