Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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