I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just high enough for therapy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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