He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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