what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
