yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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