Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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