Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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