oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
did i just pee glitter
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
