are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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