Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
only you would photoshop your dick
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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