Who did Billy Mays play for?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
