come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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