Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
