I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
