Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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