Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
