at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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