I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
