I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
