Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
