I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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