she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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