I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
