Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i barfeds in our rink
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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