I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
