three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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