yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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