apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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