They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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