I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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