I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
